Previously, I wrote a post listing out five steps one could take toward finding self-acceptance. They are just five that I chose out of a whole list, nothing special about them. I’ve picked four more to focus on for today’s post.
First off is to set your intention to live a life of self acceptance. An intention is a guiding principle for your life. It isn’t the same as a goal, because there is no expectation or assessment to it. It is more recognizing a way you want to align your life. An intention is a purpose or attitude you want to commit to. So, for example, choose to set aside your self judgment and criticism, and instead commit to a life of loving and supporting yourself. Going forward, you don’t feel bad for judging yourself or having those negative thoughts. You simply stop, and remind yourself that you are not going to fall back into that habit, but be compassionate and loving instead.
Acceptance isn’t resignation. Resignation is giving up. We aren’t talking about that. We are talking about recognizing the situation, acknowledging it, and deciding how to proceed. It is possible to see something without passing judgment on it. So, let’s say you are usually late. Accepting that you have a tendency to be late doesn’t mean you give up and are just late for now on. Instead, it means you recognize the fact without thinking it makes you a bad person. Simple fact, you are usually late. Next, you decide what to do about it. You might decide to factor extra time in for yourself, fake yourself out by setting clocks ahead some, or set reminders for everything. Whatever you decide to do, it is all done with love and no harsh, negative thoughts toward yourself.
That brings us to the third point today. Be kind to yourself. It isn’t wrong to be nice to yourself. In fact, you should be your biggest fan and strongest supporter. First off, it is a miserable life to lead if you are always criticizing and tearing yourself down. It isn’t good for your mental or physical health. Nothing is gained by being down on yourself. True, productive change happens from a position of self love and positivity. Accepting the way you are, and being happy with that, loving yourself no matter what, takes the pressure off. From there, you can work on making a change, if you still want to, without wasting your energy on the self hate, negativity, and guilt. Imagine trying to make that change in your life while being cheered along rather than threatened.
Finally, celebrate your strengths. If you are struggling with self love, self worth, and such, it is easy to be critical and keep a mental list of your shortcomings, ready to rattle off at any moment. It can be harder to list your strengths. You should do it though. Even if you need to list just one a day, start making a list you can look back on when you are having a bad day. I, recently, was part of an email course that asked us to make a list of our strengths for one of the assignments. She asked us to make a list of 50. Fifty! I was baffled and really struggled to list the first 10. I actually had to look up lists of strengths to get ideas of what I could add to mine. I really had zero ideas as far as what I might be good at in life. It took a chunk of time, and a few breaks, but I was so proud when I made it to 50! If it helps you to Google “list of possible strengths“, do it. You may be as surprised as I was at what is on those lists.
Another list that is helpful is one that shows what type of accomplishments you have had, hardships you have overcome, etc. This list shows your strengths too! It can be an easier list to make because you don’t have to name individual strengths, but you can still see where you were strong, and what you have been good at doing.
All of these suggestions are helpful options for steps to finding self-acceptance, and I hope at least one resonated with you. Remember to check out my previous post on this topic also, if you haven’t already. Working on all of these at once would be overwhelming and is not recommended. Choosing one or two, and building upon them as a base, is much more doable. You might even find that you have naturally started to do some as you grow in self-acceptance using those first few.
Come join me at the new Facebook group, Growing in Self-Acceptance, and let me know what steps you plan on taking first!